On Da Swarve

Some of you maybe saying WTF? Well where i come from "on da swarve" means your not home, your running errands, or out visiting friends.

I don't know about moms of singletons, but me i don't want to be "on da swarve" with three kids. I mean it takes two hours just to get everyone ready, out the door. Then you need to strap them all in the car, and try to peacefully get to your destination. No matter how early you prepare your self, your 9 chances out of 10 going to be late. There's always one out of the three who need's to poop, or already pooped. Depending on where your going sometimes you need to take them back out and change or wait for them.

I've been trying for weeks to get my S/O to take all three kids with him "on da swarve" just for one day. I want him to understand what i have to go through every time i leave the house when he's not around. Or complaining when i leave them home with him when he is around, just to do a simple grocery run ALONE!

I'm the mom in the small town wal-mart getting groceries because its closest, and has more than just groceries. But wondering when the heck there going to upgrade there cart's to accommodate more than one child. Because most people are looking at me like i'm some sort of crazy lady.

Maybe the fact i have twins is enough to explain that. But in all honesty i get the extra long hard "gock's" (stare) because i've got a twin in the proper seat, the other in the basket of the cart, and my 4 year old standing on the outside somewhere. When the cart starts to get full of half the store, that we need to survive another two weeks without leaving the house, people just start laughing as you walk by. Probably wondering if the child buried in merchandise is still breathing. While they are all snacking on three separate snacks we haven't yet paid for to keep them quiet.

Going to the post office, the drug store, or even a play date at McDonalds is enough to make you want to go to bed the minute you get back home. I ran into an actual grocery store the other morning just for milk, with only the twins. I still got "gocked" at, but this time because of the outrageous amount of just milk i'm buying. I just wanna scream at these people some times. Like mudder always say's "Burn a hole right threw ya she's lookin that hard" ( won't stop looking ) or "misses aint got the swivel on her" ( swinging her head so fast and far she almost changes direction to look at you.)

I haven't even talked about bringing my daughter to gymnastics and the hour we have to kill while shes in class, shopping for clothes and shoes with them all there, Or how i even carry them all around by my self. I Can't even get into that right now! We will save it for another blog. I'll just leave you with a photo below.

Road trip's there a whole other kinda crazy. I've "took" (taken) a few now since the twins. I must say i've been pretty blessed when they were younger, they would just sleep. But i would really think long and hard about doing it now. Not only do you have to pack a "foolish" (stupid) amount of stuff but you have to try and organize it in the trunk like your playing tetris.

You get to your first fuel stop, and you need that one thing you didn't put in your diaper bag it's in the suit case, because you thought you wouldn't need it until you get there. Your S/O is behind you saying "Misses your some stun, you havn't got a clue. Now why would you put that in there" In other words that was a dumb idea. If ya nerves is not "gone" enough already, he just made em "bad." (at this point your getting frustrated.)

So then you need to fill up bottles and sippy cups, so there ready to grab while driving. Make sure everyone has a full belly, and last but not least take them out for a stretch and diaper change. You then realize, one of the twins has poop up his back. So you grab the entire diaper bag instead of just the wipes and a few diapers. Trying to "muck" (bring) three kids into a public wash room, two of which don't walk, and you don't have your TRIPLE stroller because it now doesn't fit with all the other "foolishness" you need. "Ya nerves is just about shot now"

All while your S/O is just having a snack and waiting patiently for you to be done and hit the road. After wrestling two 9 month twins, one covered in poop on a change table made for one baby. You swiftly turn around do some weird yoga move with one leg up in the air across the change table, to keep your babies from falling off and help your 4 year old wipe her bum, as if she doesn't know how to her self. Because she's been "cooped up" (stuck) in the car and begging for your attention, you just take a deep breath do a quick wipe, throw a baby on each hip and hope your daughter is going to cooperate opening doors for you to get back to the car.

Time to strap in the kids. Or more like restrain them while there screaming to please not put them back in the car. You keep breathing knowing it won't last more than 15 minutes. But you forgot to pee. Finally you can put the car in drive. A half hour passes and your 4 year old is screaming to pee after drinking a full bottle of juice, after just telling her to take her time. But she will not pee on the side of the highway so you have to improvise and convince her to wear one of her brothers diapers because there is no bathroom near. So you stop get her in a diaper and hope for the best.

At the next fuel stop were repeating this all over again. Taking a little more time to have a decent meal. Which by the end of all of the kids need a new change of clothes.

You make your way to a hotel for the night. Unload the tetris puzzle, give your S/O the job of ordering delivery for supper. Find everything you need to get everyone bathed. Unpack and repack the diaper bag for the next day. Realize you forgot a bag for dirty clothes so your stealing one from a garbage can at the hotel. You figure ou t how and where everyone is sleeping. Do you set up the play pin for the twins or do you just layout a tun of blankets, and pillows. They can sleep on the floor?? Right??? yeah your exhausted and still have so much to do before you get them asleep.

Meanwhile your S/O is laying down flicking through the crappy hotel TV channels. You organize everything for the morning, lay it all out neatly and convince your S/O to put everything you don't need back into the car. "Knock Knock" Oh there's the delivery. Guess he's not getting to that task until morning. You eat, get your own shower, and crawl into bed. Just as your dozing off a baby starts to stir. You just hope he goes back to sleep. Your S/O has already called it a night and snoring beside you.

You double check the alarm is set for 8 am, run through your mental list to make sure everything is taken care of. The alarm goes off and you hit snooze at least 3 times before deciding to finally get going. But all the kids are still sleeping do you wake them? Throw them in the car and hope they continue sleeping? Or just relax and wait? Most times you hope for option two and try to get to the first fuel stop of the day peacefully. But it's all worth it once you get to your destination... RIGHT???