Alright B'ys Listen Up

Alright B'ys...

Today is one of those mommy days where the last thing on my list of things to do today is to be a mom. HAHA!! Ya right. That's not an option ever. But i mean should it be? Look at me today... I Look exhausted... but from this view it's not that bad. I managed to get the twins in a stroller for a small walk to get sissy off the bus.

But then if you look closely beyond these two handsome smiles. I have pastel colored legging's on, with fur slippers, and my S/O's lumber jack sweater. What a "STREAL" ( mess. ) If this isn't screaming I'm exhausted i don't know what does.

I know i'm not the only mudder of one child or more who is completely, and utterly exhausted and has no more to give. I mean we do have those days! But then it makes you think... Am i being a bad mom? Am i neglecting my children? Have i fed them enough today? Have i changed there diaper as much as i should be today? Do they always cry this much? Why is my house such a mess? Is it just me? Am i experiencing postpartum? Am i ignoring my child? Is today the day i am giving up on my life?

No matter what question's maybe running through your head. No matter how much your putting your self down. No matter how bad of a parent "you're" being or think you are. The answer is NO! Instead say to your self... I am a great mom i just need a moment for me. My children are alive. Yes i have fed them (at least twice today). Yes my house is a "state" (mess) but my children are happy, and quiet. My children have no clue that i am just physically, and mentally exhausted. This is not an everyday thing. I'll be better tomorrow.

I mean look at these handsome babies! There Smiles make all this worth it! But these tiny demanding humans are exhausting.

Should our S/O have to be "Mr, Mom" for one day of the month? Perhaps this particular day? I mean come on B'ys admit it you all know when we women are having this day. I believe every time this mood occurs you say to us, "Your some crooked today, what's wrong with ya?" (what's bothering you today?) As if he doesn't already know, Or he just sit's there and makes no attempt at all to help you feel better.

Then you have those times where they do a simple task to make you smile. But wait your listening from your bed thinking no, no, NO he's doing it all wrong!. Or what a half ass job just to try and shut me up. Then you make the attempt to thank him for his kind gesture, you try to move along with your day to make the best of it. But he replies with "no problem"... " iv'e got things to do today, i'll see you later on this evening." Your only reaction, thought, and emotion is "REALLY!!!!!" And You just want to scream!

This was my life today. I just can't shake this mood and these thought's. But i was eager to blog about this, because despite all of this, i am not alone. A few of my friends have told me they too feel like there S/O just doesn't get it. I love my S/O unconditionally with no hesitation! He is a great guy. In these moments we often tend to forget all the things our S/O dose for us. The things he does well and right! We tend to try and make them feel like we are feeling in the moment.

Is this ok? Maybe it's not the right way to go about handing this situation, but this is 100% OK. He should acknowledge, and recognize that you are feeling down. Take the time and make an effort to get you in a better mood. Attempt to help you... without asking the question "well what needs to be done, I don't know?" ( B'ys this drives us absolutely INSANE )

In this moment we are not about to say "Yay I'm going to write you a "TO DO" list." Nope this question you guys ask, it actually causes us to think... Is he BLIND?? Does he not see the laundry over there on the floor? Does he not see the dishes that need to be done? Does he not realize all the mess and clutter is out of place? The garbage is ligit OVERFLOWING!! Is he DEAF? Does he not hear OUR screaming children. Is he that "STUN." ( Clueless ) They just need to be changed and fed!

These are everyday mommy tasks that our S/O's can do with out asking or being asked. To help us brighten up. Even my 4 year old comes home from school today sensing something is off with mommy. As we all know she's much wiser than her years. She actually starts telling me how much she loves me, while doing things she thinks could make me smile and feel better. You can't tell me this grown man i have chose to love unconditionally and have these children with just does not get it!!! Most of us don't expect our S/O to sweep and mop floors, or scrub showers and toilets. Meanwhile they think we want them to mop floors and scrub toilets. But we also have those things to do on top of all those other things listed above.

What we really expect (JUST ONCE IN A WHILE) , without being asked... Is to get off the couch to pick up the dirty laundry lying around and put in the laundry room, while were doing some other chore. We expect you to unload or load the dishwasher while we are bathing the kids after supper. We expect you to get the kids to the bus stop for us once in a while and let us sleep in. If we manage to get the laundry sorted, washed, dried, and folded "MAYBE" you can put it away. I mean really make an effort. How many times have we heard our S/O say " I don't know where all the laundry goes" Honestly again in that moment we are just sighing and thinking... REALLY DUDE!!!!

It's basically as simple as help one another out. But it's not simple at all, Is it? This doesn't happen all over night or all in one day. It just eventually builds up inside and we explode over time. "ALRIGHT B'YS" No don't do all of these in one day and expect to get a free pass!! It doesn't work that way. Were just going to feel super special that day, wondering what your up too, or what you want in return. The best way to help us out is to simply choose a task or two a day that needs to be done and do it for us with out being asked.

This is not some secret way to tell my S/O what he needs to be doing. Nor am i writing this to bitch at him behind a computer screen. This is a every day struggle that all family relationships go through or suffer from at some time or another. This is something all of us women vent about "every now and then." (once in a while) and im sure our S/O's are also venting to one another about it.

Is it because before we had kids, we just did everything with out needing there help? Is it because all those days we felt like we could conquer the world, and our S/O asked to help, we just turned them down and rejected the help? Is it because were both exhausted? Is it because were just lost in our own separate thoughts? Is it because we have become "soft" as human beings and we have stopped setting personal boundaries for others to go by to sense what we need or want.

Growing up every time we heard our father or grandfather say the words " Alright B'ys Listen Up" In a sturn voice. That meant there were serious rules or instructions that we must follow! That was the one phrase when we heard it, we stopped dead in our tracts and our attention was 100% on them. We knew that what ever it was to follow dad or "pop" has had more than enough and he will not tolerate anymore.

Do we lack a backbone to protect our own personal sanity in today's society. In a world where we try to hard to keep the peace and please everyone. But are we really keeping the "peace" or are we just pleasing while the other just sits back and mostly receives. Are they just sitting and receiving because we have "trained" them to do so? But what if we did stop in those moments and actually make a "TO DO LIST" for our S/O's. Do we treat them like children? Or stopped to accept that opportunity to let him help when he offered. (Instead of trying to impress and please)

Should we have in a way, embraced what "pop and fadder" (our elders) were trying to teach us about being firm? (instead of letting things slide and trying to brush them under the rug) Would things be the same, or would we just all pitch in and be a team and help one another always. I mean that's what life should be anyways right. How do we figure all of that out and whats fair and unfair.

When did all these "given" obligations come into the picture? Who set the standards for that? Or is it completely about respect? Do we respect each other's boundaries? Is it a lack of communication? Or a lack of just really being vulnerable with one another. Because it's easier than going into real depth with each other to only in the end get our hearts and feelings hurt. Are we protecting our selves from heart ache instead of creating boundaries to prevent heart ache? Does all this lack of team work really cause all these underlying issues??

Are we just over thinking everything? Maybe it's all a bit of everything together??? Like i said before... "i like to think we figure this all out as we go." But i am also a firm believer that we are never alone. Today more than ever i feel the need to let others know that were all facing the same struggles of trying to figure all of this out together.

Other wise... "ALRIGHT B'YS" if you would just simply over time complete some of these above listed task's to help out your lady and make her feel like shes not in this alone. It would prevent us from feeling like once every three months were going to have a complete mental break down, if we have to do EVERYTHING alone one more time. Only because every time we are over whelmed and frustrated you seem to be the person who is always relaxing on the couch or sleeping in. Just pay a little more attention sometimes and instead of thinking what can i do to help. Just get up find something that needs to be done and do it. I promise it will pay off over time!!